Time for a Change
by undefined07
Summary: Jax's choices had left is life in pieces, but he could still change things.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note-I do not own SOA.

Lighting his cigarette, he leaned back in his chair closing his eyes. Jax was still sitting at the head of the table. Church had ended hours ago, the guys had all gone home. He didn't even know how long he had been sitting there.

He couldn't even consider going home at this point, that house wasn't a home anymore. Tara had made it a home, without her it was just pointless. Maybe he would sell it, or burn it. He just knew he could never step foot in there again.

Walking into that kitchen to find Tara dead had destroyed him. He didn't even know it was possible to feel this dead inside. All he had done in the last few months was hurt Tara. He didn't blame her for the things she had done to get away from Charming. Samcro was poison, and it had broken Tara. Jax knew he was to blame for it all. Tara had believed in him, and waited for him to lead her away from all the chaos, but he had failed her. Now he would never be able to make up for it.

Jax loved Tara in a way that was indescribable. From the time they were kids he knew she would be the one he would spend the rest of his life with. Her leaving to go to school and him marrying Wendy had just been a detour. She had come back at a crazy time for him, but she saved him. He was on a destructive path, she grounded him and gave him something worth coming home for.

Jax knew he had not been the perfect partner, but he always did what he thought was best. Every decision he made, he made with his family in mind. When he came out of prison, Jax really had intended to leave Redwood. But he got in over his head with the Cartel, then finding out everything about JT's death had changed things. He couldn't see past his hatred for Clay, and leaving took the back burner. Most women would have left then, but not Tara she took this set back in stride, she supported him and fought for their family.

It was the Otto situation that had tipped Tara over the edge. She had worked so hard to become a doctor. Jax wasn't stupid, he knew the type of career she had given up to move back from Charming. She had come back because of Kohn, but she stayed for Jax. But she didn't mind giving all that up, just as long as she could have Jax and their family. The thing with Otto however, had meant she would never practice medicine again, and it had changed Tara. She was a shell of the person she used to be. It killed Jax knowing that his choice to stay in Charming had done this too her. It killed him even more knowing that while Tara was dealing with all of that, he was sleeping with Collette. It was no wonder she had pulled a gun on him. He knew he would never forget that moment for the rest of his life. It was the moment he knew, he was the reason Tara was broken.

He had to change things. It was time to finally do what Tara wanted and get away from Samcro. He had to get Abel and Thomas out of Charming. And he had to get Abel away from the junkie whore that somehow thought she had some claim on him. Just because she had carried Abel didn't mean she was his mother. And Jax would be damned if Abel every called anyone else but Tara mom. He could practically hear Tara, "Gemma will never let you leave." Well he was going to run her ass over if he had too. He really didn't care what he had to do, he was leaving Charming.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hey guys here's chapter 2, as always I do not own SOA.

Jax's white t-shirt billowed around him, as he stood staring at Opie's headstone. Not for the first time since his best friend's death, Jax was seeking his counsel. Jax's guilt was crushing him once again. He hadn't seen the boys since he found Tara a week ago. He knew he was being selfish, but everything about them reminded him of her. Every time he looked in Thomas's eyes he felt like Tara was staring back at him, and Abel was Tara's personality carbon copy. Jax honestly wouldn't doubt if he became a doctor one day just like her. He wished Opie was here, he'd been through this before, he'd help him snap out of it. But he wasn't, just like Tara, Opie was dead. Jax was alone and he had Samcro to thank for that. He had to get himself and the boys out of this toxic town.

The ringing of his phone snapped him out of his thoughts. "Yeah?" he answered without looking at the caller ID. "Jackson! Where are you? I've been trying to reach you for days." Jax sighed, reaching into his jean pockets for his pack of Marlboros. It was his mother, and until now he had been doing a good job of avoiding her. He couldn't deal with needy bullshit. "What's up Gemma?" he replied shortly, taking a much need drag. "Just checking in with you baby, you doing okay?" Was she crazy? No he wasn't fucking okay. When he didn't reply she continued. "Well I got the boys from Lyla today Jax, Wendy's going to help me with them. They need to be with family at a time like this." Jax was pissed, Wendy was not their goddamn family. "Gemma, I don't fucking want her around them!" Jax snapped his temper flaring. "Jax don't be ridiculous, I need help with them." Gemma replied snarkly. "I'm coming to get them, and she better not be there when I get there, Gemma" he said snapping his phone shut, throwing his cigarette to the ground.

He was still steaming when he pulled his truck in Gemma's drive way. He was so sick of Gemma's shit. How could she forgotten so easily what Wendy had done to Abel? If it wasn't for Tara coming back into his life when she did, Abel would be gone. "Daddy!" and the sound of running, filled Jax's ears when he walked in the door. "Hey buddy" he greeted his son, picking him up. He couldn't believe he had gone so long without seeing his boys. Tara would be up his ass if she knew. "Where's your brother kiddo?" Jax asked setting Abel back down. "With Wendy" his oldest replied. His anger that had dissipated when he saw his son, came flaring back up again. "Buddy, why don't you get the things you want to take with you, we're going home soon." Abel took off too Jax's old room to get his stuff.

Jax walked towards the living room, where he could hear voices. His eyes immediately went to the couch where Wendy sat with Thomas. He walked over without a word, and took Thomas out of her arms. "Daddy?" he heard from the other room, he could hear the anxiety in Abel's voice. Jax's stomach dropped, he felt horrible, Abel obviously thought he had left. "I'm in here Buddy" Jax yelled back. Poor kid, he had already been through so much in his life. He lost his mother a week ago, and his father had been AWOL ever since.

"Where are you taking them Jax?" Gemma asked. He focused back on the situation at hand. Had he not made it perfectly clear that he didn't want Wendy around his children? He really didn't want to lose his cool in front of his sons, but he could feel his anger taking over. "I'm taking them home, Gemma" he replied shortly. "Do you really think it's best for them to be going there?" Wendy piped in for her place on the couch. It took everything Jax had not to completely lose his shit. "I missed the part where a junkie knew what was best for mine and Tara's children" Jax seethed, running his hand through his hair trying to keep his cool. "Recovering junkie Jax, you know that" Wendy snapped back. Jax scoffed, "Yeah, I don't think 3 hours sober counts as recovering. You forget who I am Wendy, who I know, you can't ask around Charming for crank without it getting back to me."

"Jackson, settle down, why don't you and the boys just stay here for a few days" Gemma jumped in. "No Gemma! My children are going to their home with me, their father. Abel buddy, say bye to Grandma were going home." Jax grabbed the boy's stuff without another word, got them loaded into the truck and headed home.

"Daddy? When are we going inside?" Abel's voice for not the first time today brought him back to reality. They had been sitting in the driveway. Jax was dreading going inside. He wanted nothing more than to burn this house to the ground. How was he supposed stay in the home Tara had created for them, when he had found her dead in it a week ago? But it was time for him to step up and be the father Tara always wanted him to be, and getting them away from Gemma even if it was only 15 minutes away, was the first step. And he knew deep down that the boys were going through so much that preventing them from being in the only home they've ever known wasn't fair. Jax's only consolation was that they would be out of this house and town soon enough. "Yeah buddy lets go inside." Jax said helping Abel out of the truck, and picking up a sleeping Thomas out of his car seat.

Getting Abel to bed was a fiasco. Abel kept crying for Tara, and Jax felt horrible. He had forgotten that he was a father before everything else, even his own pain. Abel had only fallen asleep when Jax laid down with him. He felt ridiculous laying in Abel's little twin bed, but it wasn't like he could sleep in the bed in shared with Tara anyways. He needed to start making moves for them to get out of Charming. But tonight he was focused on his boys. Tomorrow he would call for Church and give up the gavel for good this time. God he was so tired, when was the last time he was even slept? He turned on Thomas's monitor, and tried to clear his mind, and maybe get a little sleep.

P.S. Next Chapter will focus on Jax's moves to get himself out of Samcro, and them out of Charming.


End file.
